“The mind replays what the heart can no longer reach.”

Do you want to get revenge on a guy who hurt you? Or maybe you want a guy to miss you and regret leaving. 

I understand. I have been in situations where things were going well and then suddenly, they rip the rug out from under me and pull away. 

All I wanted was for them to miss me and regret losing me. I tried all the tactics available on the internet. 

In this article, I will give you the first three things you must do to set yourself up for success in making a guy miss you and regret leaving.

We will go over:

• His mindset during all this.
• The importance of no contact.
• Acting as if you moved on and the psychology behind why all this works.

If you haven’t yet, please get my FREE guide on being high-value. There is no point in doing all this but he sees you as the same value when he left. The pattern will repeat itself. 

Change His Mindset For Him To Miss You

I will keep this brief because it can get very complex. 

When a guy leaves you, there is one reason why:

• To avoid risk

I know that sounds weird, but when the organism’s goal is to survive and reproduce, a man leaves because he feels it would be a waste to continue investing resources in something he doesn’t see as long-term.

From an evolutionary psychology perspective, that’s a huge no-no.

In Layman’s terms, he’s pulling away because of one of the following:

• He doesn’t see you long-term.
• There is someone else.
• He is unsure about you.
• The attraction isn’t what it was.

The way our brain works and processes information is through logic and stories. 

This means he has enough “evidence” to create a narrative on why one of the reasons above is accurate and his reaction to it is to pull away.

He’s doing this because our brain is designed to seek reward and avoid risk/pain. 

He was given enough variables to create this narrative and believes what he’s doing is his best option.

To him, he sees all these variables and would rather break away and go on the journey of the “unknown” to try to get back on track with what he lost.

It takes a lot to change a man’s mind but it’s very possible. The first thing believe it or not is to actually let him go. That doesn’t mean I want you to take him back. If it was up to me, he’s out for good. But I know that’s easier said than done.

He must go through a four-step journey before realizing he’s an idiot who misses you and comes running back with regret. I explain that here:

Time is the number one factor that gives him “evidence” that he made a mistake and that you’re done with him. He must see:

• You’re done with him.
• You’re not playing games.
• You moved on yourself.

If you don’t show this, how can he regret anything? How can he realize he made a mistake? 

He can’t reflect on missing or losing you because you’re literally waiting for him to return lol.

That’s what women don’t understand. It feels counterintuitive, but it’s the right move. You must let him go to get him back.

If you want a deeper, in-depth explanation on his mindset, I suggest you watch this video:

Men Can’t Miss You Unless You Go No-Contact

Going deeper into mindsets, when we talk about risk, it’s a double-edge sword:

While he wants to avoid risk, he always wants to feel he’s not making a mistake. You take away his risk of losing you based on what you do and how you react.

Some men just pull away because they see you as the plague. But for a huge majority of you, you probably do have a guy who likes you but not enough to commit. I talk about that concept here.

Just like you give him variables that tell him this isn’t going to work long-term, you still may be talking to a guy who likes you but is unsure. 

If that’s true, he wants to be able to decide to leave, look for better, but not lose you in the process. 

Some men simply pull away because why not? He realizes you’re not going anywhere due to the things you do:

• You invest more than him.
• You put up with his bullshit.
• You care more.
• You let him go before.
• You two always fight.
• You have more to lose than him.
• You lowered your standards to keep him around.

If he’s unsure about you, it’s logical to look for better. Especially if he sees you as an insurance policy for when it doesn’t work out, he can return.

There must be a consequence to his actions. He is not allowed to feel he can come back after he leaves and trust me, a LOT of men do feel this way hence why they do it. 

If you want to get a guy to miss you and regret leaving, there has to be a cause and effect, a consequence for making the wrong move. 

If more men thought, “Once I am out, there is no way I am getting back in. She’s done with me. That’s it,” they’d think twice before leaving. 

So many women do No-Contact wrong. I have a VERY in-depth guide on the topic here. I also want you to watch this video on how to correctly do No-Contact so you don’t make the mistakes that keep him from coming back:

Act As If You Moved On So He Regrets It

 So the question is, how do we act as if we move on so he regrets his decision? 

If you want him to miss you, you have to do things that CONSISTENTLY show that we’re done and the door is closed.

Again, I know it may feel counterintuitive and you may be fearful that he won’t return but any other way is going to make him think he has you wrapped around his finger.

The only thing I am asking from you is consistency.

The male mind works in that there are two layers to “missing you” and playing this whole back-and-forth game. 

Let me explain.

If a guy pulls away because he’s comfortable doing so or feels he can come back in, you will have to do a lot more than you think to change that narrative.

You don’t just do some things here and there and make him “work for it” to get back in., He knows that already. That’s the first layer we have to break.

He knows you’re playing the game too, but also knows you like him more than he likes you. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this article and putting up with playing the game in the first place.

He’s thinking, “I know she’s thinking XYZ and wanting to play this game. But at the end of the day, I know she will let me in if I come back and say/do the right things.”

And he’s right. You will. 

Your job is to throw in variables to make him think that’s not the case. That means you consistently have to show him:

• You don’t care.
• He’s not coming back in.
• You’re not looking at his social media.
• You’re not answering or even looking at his text. 
• You’re outcome independent. You care less.

If you do this long and convincing enough, you have a guy who knows you’re playing games but still feels he has the upper hand to now thinking:

“Oh damn, I think she’s serious,” and starts freaking out.

Why is it essential for him to think this? Well:

• He will take his time with other women and return if he doesn’t.
• He will take advantage of you again if he can.
• He doesn’t value you unless you make him.
• He will start the reflect and regret process once he realizes he made a mistake. 

If you do these three things, you’re on the correct path to making a guy miss you and regret leaving in the first place.

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