“A man rarely knows what he has — until you stop giving it to him.”

If you’re finally done with a guy but want to know if you:

• Got into his head
• Made him squirm
• Made him regret everything

Then this article is for you.

There’s a moment in every relationship where the tables turn. The texts slow down—your energy shifts. And without warning, he feels it.

That’s when you start to see his behavior change — not because he suddenly figured out your worth, but because he fears the consequences of losing what he thought would always be there.

In this article, I will break down the five things men instinctively do when they realize they’re losing you — through the lens of psychology, biology, and a little bit of hard-earned wisdom.

If you want my free guide on skyrocketing your value, click here.

Let’s get into it.

They Dangle False Hope

“In the eyes of a man, a confused woman, is a hopeful woman.”

Have you ever talked to a guy who never gave you a straight answer? He’d beat around the bush with comments making you feel like he hears and understands where you’re coming from, but never truly commits or changes.

Have you heard any of these phrases?

• Let’s see what happens.
• I’m trying.
• I like you but (insert excuse).

Or has he done any of the following:

• Gave you mixed signals?
• His actions and words don’t align. As in, he will say one thing but do another.
• He will step up for a bit, then go back to doing the thing you were upset about in the first place.

If that’s the case, you’re talking to a man who wants to confuse you. In this instance, a confused woman likes the guy and wants to give him the benefit of the doubt, but can’t fully grasp what he’s doing or what he’s about because he’s not completely leaning in or out. He’s just drifting along with you.

This is a powerful tactic men use because we know you like us. We know you don’t want to regret your decision. We know you want it to work out. You’re looking for that key component that gives you the clear “yes” or “no.” But you must analyze things again when a guy steps up, gives you mixed signals, and throws you guard with some sweet words.

These men are amazing at giving you hope that he will change and that things will get better and because of this, you stick around. It’s much easier for you to decide if you saw the writing on the wall for what it is. 

It’s better to move on, though. Check out this article, “Why Men Never Commit To Hopeful Women.”

He’s A Front Runner

What is a Front Runner?

A front runner is someone who changes/adapts long enough to get the outcome that they want. They are full throttle until they have you hooked. Then they go back to how they originally were.

If you have told a guy a concern or problem you’re having in the relationship and he said he will change and did for about two weeks before going back to his old ways, you’re man is a front runner. 

He keeps going back to this simple habit loop:

Why does he though? 

You could list the typical response we have when trying to fix habits:

• The changes are too big
• There wasn’t a clear reward to replace the previous one

But I think it’s deeper than that. I personally think:

• He doesn’t care as much.
• It’s easy to do this instead of worrying about your feelings.
• He doesn’t value the relationship.

If you have to correct a guy multiple times ON SOMETHING THAT IS BOTHERING YOU, he’s not your guy, and it’s time to move on.

The Ultimate Gaslighter

Ah my favorite, the gaslighter. These men argue to win not to solve problems. Sadly, I know many of you are being gaslit and don’t even realize it. I can’t tell you how many client stories I hear where they’re getting gaslit and don’t even know it’s happening.

One of men’s best tactics is combining multiple things in this article to support their gaslighting you at the end.

For example, you’re talking to a guy who says he will change but doesn’t (tactic one) then he will front run and go back to his normal way (tactic two). When you realize it and ain’t having it and pull away, he will confront you and say: 

“You’re the one who pulled away and said you’re done. I never leave, it’s always you. You saw I tried, yet it’s never good enough for you.”

His tactic will look something like this:

It’s much easier for him to gaslight you and make you seem crazy for leaving if he makes minimal attempts that he can point back at to use as evidence for you being in the wrong.

Please don’t fall for this ladies. It’s crazy that you have to ask men to do the bare minimum to maintain a relationship.

He “Steps” Up

This is probably the only good thing a man can do when you’re done and pulling away. That is a man stepping up.

Stepping up is like another response system we have to threat. We all know of the “fight or flight” response. I feel that men also have this response when it comes to dating and mating.

For example, Mate Value Discreprency refers to whether one person is seen as more desirable (more attractive, higher status, more resources, etc.) than the other, there’s a mate value gap — or discrepancy.

Based on this gap several things will happen. If you’re the higher of the two you may:

• Start looking elsewhere
• Be more likely to cheat
• Second-guess the relationship
• Demand more out of the person

However, if you’re the lower number, you have this fight-or-flight response on handling the situation to close the gap. While there are many things you can do, the two I want to touch on are:

• You can be territorial and push other men away/use tactics to keep her
• Step the f*** up 

If you step up and follow through, that is ultimately the best way to close the gap and make the person feel better about being in the relationship.

Check out this article: “3 Things That Make Men Commit Despite Mother Nature Making Us Non-Monogamous.”

He Moves It To Friendship

You’d think this isn’t a bad idea from the guy. Hell, you may feel yourself this is the best thing for you two do because while you care for him, you’re not good as a couple.

This is the worst thing you can do. 

Hear me out, I am not saying you can’t be friend with your ex. You absolutely can. Don’t be too quick to friendzone yourself unless you know what he’s trying to work up behind the curtains.

I know a lot of men who decide to be friends for the sole reason of still having contact with her to deploy their true intentions. You must remember that a man can’t perform his “act” unless he’s in proximity. He can’t get any benefits if you’re away.

If he can’t fix these little things you’re asking to keep the relationship alive, why would he care about what you want as a friend? He may act like he does (front running), but I see a man still has contact with you but doesn’t have to pay the cost of a relationship.

And guess what? He’s hoping that you’ll cave and sleep with him while being in your proximity. 

I may be a cynic but I see this ALL THE TIME. Don’t be friends if a guy can’t change to make the relationship work. 

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