Have you ever noticed the people we remember most aren’t the ones who blend in — they’re the ones who make us feel something different?

It’s the friend who makes time fly by—the coworker who always has a wild adventure to share. The person who makes even a regular afternoon feel a little more exciting, just by being themselves.

We’re all wired to crave something more than the everyday routine. We want experiences that pull us out of the ordinary — that make life feel a little bigger, a little brighter.

In this article, I’m going to show you how to create that feeling. How to get any man to want to learn more about you to the point where he thinks about you non-stop.

**If you’d like to work together and have me as your dating coach, please click the link here.**

What Humans Love And Crave The Most

When I was in high school, the Twilight series took the world by storm. I remember every girl holding the book up to their face, unable to put it down.

It was shocking how obsessed people were. You didn’t have to read the book or know the characters to understand what “Are you team Edward or team Jacob?” meant.

I hold a degree in English Literature and Creative Writing. Twilight was a book I studied extensively due to its immense success. Not to write a bestseller myself, but rather to explore the psychology behind why people crave it. Here is what I found out:

People obsess over escapism. They love the idea of “What if I do X,” or “What if Y happens? Then what?” We love that in one decision, our boring, mundane life can change forever. Oh, and we love relatability — something we can see ourselves doing.

Twilight had both escapism and relatability. Why do you think Bella was so drawn to Edward? Sure, he was a vampire designed to draw humans in and drink their blood but he was also so fascinating to her and her boring ass life living with her dad. The whole idea of a vampire realm would draw any woman in.

As readers, women loved getting lost in this story and immersing themselves in Bella’s situation. I had women tell me this. People get bored with their routine and want something shiny/new. If we can find something — someone, to open a new door of possibility, we gravitate towards them.

That’s where this article starts. People don’t want to date boring people. They want to date someone who is fascinating and takes them on a whole new adventure. Someone who makes them feel things they haven’t felt before. Someone who makes them curious as to what comes next.

Fascination Creates Desire

This is a very hot take, but I’m going to say it. I speak only the truth:

Women get mad at men for being overly sexual but in reality, it’s because they’re more fascinated by the sexual aspects of things than the story she’s trying to convey.

I am not saying the man should do this. I understand it’s frustrating. But it’s not like it’s a choice that he is curious about the sexual aspect of things, then the story you want him to read about you.

It’s like when a movie trailer comes on that doesn’t look interesting, and then the director tells you, “Well, still watch it. Give it a chance, it’s good.”

Okay, maybe he’s right and it’s good. That doesn’t drive me to want to see a movie that doesn’t look fascinating. That’s the reality.

The motivation has to be at the forefront instead of worked for. Men just don’t dig into learning about you to get motivated more to learn about you. You have to give people reason to want to explore. That’s literally the opposite definition of attraction lol.

Men are looking for women who are that missing puzzle piece in their lives—someone who shakes up their world and opens a new door. While that’s hard to do, it gives you the most incredible advantage over any woman in the dating world.

What’s Your Story? What Makes You “Click?”

How do we begin? What do we do?

If men are looking for women who are that missing puzzle piece, it means they’re going to date a woman within their Tribe. He already knows how he wants his life to unfold; he just needs to find the right partner. Perferably someone who:

• Is part of his tribe
• Is fascinating
• Helps him get closer to his ideal life

If you’re unfamiliar with this concept of a Tribe, you can find my guides here, where I discuss it in more detail. If not, I will give you a simple definition:

A Tribe is a group of people or an identity you sense a deep belonging with. As in, your identity is tied up in this group. So it should be of something important.

If I’m a nerdy introvert who enjoys gaming, I’m not looking for a bubbly extrovert who attends sports events every weekend. Instead, I am looking for someone like me, but who can show me something fascinating that I didn’t know existed within my tribe.

For example:

• If you meet a man who travels to your country and you’re a local who loves traveling, you will instantly be drawn to each other. You will be incredibly fascinating and show him things only locals know. You will give him a rare experience and build a connection. You will then travel together (I have witnessed this experience many times).
• You’re both into video games, and he discovers you’re a game developer or trying to develop a game. He’ll likely find that very admirable and fascinating, and he wants to know more about game development. He checks out your game and is amazed at how much he likes/enjoys it.
• You find a man who loves to grill, and you love to cook. You can bond over your love for food, but also share things that will ultimately improve the quality of your cooking and skills.

The next thing is that no matter what you add, have a story behind it, whether that’s:

• Why are you passionate about this thing?
• How did you develop the skill to do this?
• How did you get from where you were to where you are?

All these should be told in story form. The best way to approach it is to think of your life as a story with a plot and a twist. Bring a man along for a ride. If we use the above examples:

• It takes more than just telling a guy you like to travel. He must experience something with you relating to travel that brings him down he rabbit hole.
• Talking about games is great, but letting him in on the developer side of gaming and even helping him design a game (something he wanted to do but never knew where to start) would be amazing.
• Telling him your favorite food and why you like to cook is great, but cooking techniques and making dishes he has never tried has you two go on a journey to find and try authentic food within its own culture.

The goal is to add depth and layers to things that you both find fascinating, to the point where he wants to learn more about them. Not just boring “Tell me about yourself.” You have to lure people in first.

We gravitate toward people with whom we share similar interests. We commit to people who add to/enrich our lives.

Tell A Passionate Story

Humans connect through stories and experiences. Live a life so fun that the reason you want a relationship is you want to share this awesome experience with someone. What you have is passionate.

So far, we’re connecting through stories and experiences. We’re not just asking people questions; we are living it. He’s curious, intrigued, and fascinated. He wants to learn more about you.

The next thing is passion. We need enthusiasm. No one wants to listen to a monotone narrator of their favorite audiobook. No one wants to go on a date with someone who is lifeless. Add energy to everything you do.

To start, to convince a man to go down the rabbit hole, you have to sound convincing. What sounds better:

Him: “Hey, how was your day?”

You: “It was good. Tired. How was yours?”

Or…

Him: “Hey, how was your day?”

You: “You won’t believe what just happened.”

You need to be fun to be around. Bring it up a notch. Do you have to be like this all the time? Of course not. But it’s noticed when it is. Even someone like me, who is extremely chill and introverted, would like something like this. Just don’t make it drama. I don’t care about your coworkers or the rude guy on the bus. Make it interesting.

If you want to go to the extreme, what is the story behind you, him being with you, and that you two are going on?

Every great story has a simple flow: life starts normally, something happens that changes everything, tension builds, a big turning point occurs, and then a new normal is established. If you share your story in this way, people naturally lean in because they’re wired to want to know what happens next.

Here are examples based off what we’ve been using:

The Tourist And The Local:

A man needs to escape life. Feels trapped in his job. He decides to take a small trip where he meets a beautiful local (you) who also loves traveling. Not only that, but you know all the hidden gems tourists never find. You show him secret spots, teach him about your culture, and give him an experience no guidebook could offer. As he gets to know you, he’s drawn into your adventurous spirit. The real turning point comes when you suggest traveling to another city together, and he eagerly says yes. After that trip, you’re no longer just a local girl he met — you’re the woman who changed the entire course of his journey.

The Gamer And Developer:

He spent most of his nights getting lost in video games, sometimes playing too much, wondering if he had any real purpose. Then he met you — a woman who not only loved gaming but was actually creating her own. He was amazed when he played your game and saw the depth of your story and design. For the first time, gaming wasn’t just an escape — it became something inspiring. Motivated by you, he started learning how to create games too, and working on your passions together brought you closer than he ever expected.

The Cook And Griller:

He loved grilling — it was his thing. But everything changed when he met you, a woman who was just as passionate about cooking. It started with swapping tips and favorite recipes, but quickly grew into weekend cook-offs, daring each other to try new styles and flavors. The real turning point came when you planned a trip together — traveling to different cities (and even different countries) to experience authentic food cultures firsthand. From smoky street tacos in Mexico to rich handmade pastas in Italy, you turned your shared love of food into a real adventure. Cooking wasn’t just something you did anymore — it became a bond that deepened with every new place, every new dish, and every memory you created along the way.

If you think this is corny or too much, that’s fine. I understand but do know that your relationship with this guy is a story whether you think it is or not. It will play out for good or bad based on how the story unfolds. Might as well make it worth reading/watching.

If you’d like to work together and have me as your dating coach, please click the link here.