If you want to save yourself time and the headache of a relationship going south, I will give you early red flags in relationships you cannot miss.

Everyone misses red flags. It’s hard to keep track of everything, especially when you like the guy, want to give him the benefit of the doubt, and see potential.

However, there are some red flags I don’t think we should skip on. In this articl,e I will lay out 5 crucial red flags I believe will make or break the relationship if glossed over.

If you’re serious about dating and wanting to skyrocket your success in finding a relationship, check out my FREE 9-guide series here.

Red Flag One: Failing The Filter Test

It is a huge red flag if a guy fails anything I discuss in the filter test. This is the first thing you should be doing with any guy.

It only involves several questions:

• What are you looking for?
• When was your last relationship?
• What’s your longest relationship?
• Were you cheated on?

The answers you should be getting back are the following:

• “I am looking for something serious/want a gf.” Anything outside of this is a buying time statement. Those are NOT good.
• If he says he wants a relationship but he’s been single for 3 years, a red light should go off. At the same time, if he’s newly single (6–8 months), another red light should be alarming.
• If he’s never had a long relationship (3 years+ for 30 years or older and 1–2 years in 20’s), there is a reason and you’re not going to be the one to change it.
• I hate this because it may not be his fault and I am not saying be done with him but in my line of work, the chances a guy is emotionally unavailable or not ready to commit if he’s been cheated on is like 85%.

If you want more on filtering, you can check out this in-depth article or my guide here.

Red Flag Two: The Halfway Point

If he starts to flip or change around the 4–6 week mark, run. There is nothing you can do about it because you’re not the problem. He’s just emotionally unavailable.

What happened was context (the things you two do and say over time that creates a serious vibe in a relationship) got to the point where his emotional unavaibility kicked in and he started to pull away.

When a man is emotionally unavailable, it lays dormant early on because there is no reason for it to surface. It’s just a guy liking a girl and them getting along.

But when things progress, so does the pressure. This happens around the 4–6 mark usually when:

• You’re moving at a consistent pace
• Things are going well
• You’re hooking up
• Talking about the future
• Going on numerous dates

A man has to answer to this. It’s not just fun. It’s a responsibility. If he’s on the same page as you, then all this is great. But if he’s not, he’s going to pull back.

Please be aware of the halfway point.

Red Flag Three: Mistaking His Intensity

Many women believe that an intense man is an interested man. That may be the case, but it’s also among the worst red flags in relationships.

I have done this for over a decade and found that it’s usually emotionally unavailable men filling a void and doing it.

There are several reasons for this:

• The faster I move (and you move along with me), the more validation I get.
• If we move fast, I get what I want faster.
• If we move fast, we bypass the courting stage and get to the stage where I benefit.

One of the most crucial things you can do is control the pace. A simple cookie-cutter approach would be:

• It’s okay to text daily but not all day every day.
• Average one date a week until about 4–5 dates then you can have two dates a week SOME weeks.
• Take everything he’s saying with a grain of salt for the first month.
• Don’t cave and sleep with him before the 5th date.

Please remember that early on, he doesn’t know you from Eve. Don’t think you’re that special that he’s falling in love with you in record time. When a guy makes these comments, you’re in trouble:

• I like you more in this short time than I liked my wife of 10 years.
• I have never felt chemistry like this before.
• I felt like I’ve known you forever.
• I have never had feelings this strong before.

Just be careful.

Red Flag Four: His Horrible Communication

This sounds like common sense, but it’s one of the biggest red flags in relationships.

Communication is the gold standard for anything going anywhere. It does so much, and people don’t realize it:

• Makes everything feel mutual.
• People feel understood and heard.
• They’re validated and wanted.
• Clears up and misconceptions.
• Keeps the consistency going.

If you’re talking to a guy who is:

• Sporadic/inconsistent.
• Okay going a day without talking to you.
• Doesn’t like conflict or problem solving.

Then you’re talking to a man who realized he doesn’t want you but your assets and sees you short-term.

The only problem is that it’s difficult to gauge someone’s communication early on. Many people will go the extra mile in communication in the first month to secure dates and your interest.

But it’s still important to watch, and a big red flag when a guy cannot communicate properly.

Red Flag Five: Not Meeting Friends Or Family

While I am not a big fan of meeting friends and family early on in dating, you should meet a friend or two before week 6. If not, there are several reasons:

• He isn’t sure about you.
• He has brought women around before and it didn’t last long.
• He doesn’t want to integrate you into his social circle (there are reasons).
• He’s talking to other women.
• He’s interested in a member of his group.

What women fail to realize is that men want to secure you if they see you long-term. Too many of you justify things and say, “Well, maybe he did it and got burned before,” or “He probably doesn’t want to show anyone off until it’s serious. We do that in my culture all the time.”

While that may be true, his integrating you into his social group happens (overall) far less than it should. If a guy likes you, wants to win you over or some brownie points, it’s smart that on a 4th or 5th date to invite you out with friends.

Again, that may not be his style, but we’re not talking about that. We’re talking about him doing things he thinks you’d like.

Maybe it’s just me, but when I date a girl I like and want to show her I care, I go the extra step. I will do things I know she likes. Let me give you a great example of this from a woman I dated who did something for me:

I dated this Canadian woman named Sara years back. She was a fantastic woman. At that time, my friends and I played a game called “Dead By Daylight,” which was a four-player online multiplayer game. She knew nothing about the game and didn’t even play. However, she bought the game because she knew I liked it and wanted to play it with me.

I remember her laughing and saying, “You probably think this is pathetic, don’t you? I look needy.” But in reality, I loved that she did that. It’s the effort and attention to detail. The fact that she was willing to learn a game and a skill she had no previous interest in.

As soon as a guy does that for you, you’re in. But if he never does anything like that, let alone won’t even introduce you to a friend, and you’ve been dating for a while, there is a reason.

Hopefully I helped you figure out serious red flags in relationships. If you’re interested in working with me, click the link here.