If you ask yourself, “Should I give him a second chance,” you’re opening yourself up to a lot of risk unless you do what I say in this article.

It’s hard moving on from someone you strongly connected with. It’s not your fault he’s an idiot lol.

You let go and were doing well. Suddenly, he has come back around, talking crazy about how much he misses you and wants you. You try to ignore it but he’s consistent.

What do you do? Should you take him back?

In this article, I will go over:

• Important things to consider if you do take him back.
• Traps to avoid.
• The only reason I would take someone back.

If you haven’t yet, please get my FREE nine-guide series on skyrocketing your dating life and finding a man in as little as 90 days here.

What Happened Before He Returned.

Let’s not jump the gun here. I know you’re thrown off and confused that he came back around and started to blow up your phone. But what is more important is the evidence we already have.

Looking back at the relationship and why he pulled away is essential.

If you have had any of the following problems in the relationship, I would be hesitant to take him back:

• He’s not your boyfriend, and there is a lot of “on and off” with him.
• He has pulled this crap before.
• He says he doesn’t want a relationship.
• It feels very one-sided.
• He’s inconsistent, or it feels like pulling teeth to get him to do anything.
• You feel you’re being taken advantage of.

While it could still work, it’s less likely. From my 11 years of experience, I have never seen a guy pull these shenanigans and then wake up and suddenly want a relationship.

It would even be worse if you’re hopeful for a relationship because he will men don’t commit to hopeful women like I talk about here.

This leads me to my second point.

The Time Gap

 I think most men return between 1 and 3 months after not talking. I think that’s the best time for someone to go through the four stages of reflection and regret, which are:

• He is pulling away for whatever reason.
• Having to live with that reason and the decision he made.
• He can now reflect on that decision (what it’s like with and without you.
• His conclusion of that initial decision (do I regret it or not).

That takes around 1–3 (maybe four months). That does not mean you should wait for that time. If anything, you’d do better letting go. However, the first step to asking yourself, “Should I give him a second chance?” starts with the time period.

Here is why:

• If it’s under a month and he returns, it tells me two things: He thinks you’re disposable and can get you back when he wants. And that he’s impulsive. He will do it again because he probably didn’t think much about it in the first place.
• If it’s past 3 months (more like going onto six), I feel the guy doesn’t have feelings anymore and that if he comes back, it’s more for the assets you offer (time, sex, validation, attention, or being an insurance policy).

Men don’t wake up months and months later and realize you’re the one. They have to reflect on the decision they made. If it takes too little time, it will happen again. Too long, and those feelings probably faded, but he feels he can get something out of you.

Check out this article here: 5 Unbelievable Reasons Men Always Come Back Months Later That Will Tilt You.

Do Not Cave Early

Here is the problem with caving early:

There could be a chance that he comes back and feels he can negotiate getting things back to where they were instead of where they need to be. That’s not good for you.

It’s a two-step process (on his end) just like any job interview:

• He fills out an application and maybe checks in multiple times.
• Then he gets the interview.

You’re not different. Just because he reaches out with “I miss you” doesn’t get him in the door.

I’d personally only “cave” under the following conditions:

• I genuinely believe they regret their decision and made a mistake.
• This was the first time.
• The relationship was great; he has mental blocks.
• I felt they were convinced I was done.
• They texted a bunch and didn’t give up.

Letting him back in isn’t to “talk about things” or hear his side of the story. You should have done that before applying no contact.

If you cave the first or second time, he will try to negotiate to get things back to where they were. That doesn’t benefit you because you are taking the burden of risk for a guy who screwed up.

Only Take Him Back If..

Now we know the reasons why we shouldn’t take him back and a reasonable period on when to expect him back.

I tell my clients that if you want to be sure he’s not going to pull this crap again and that he’s serious about returing for good, you have to figure out 5 questions:

• “What has changed? No one changes this fast.”
• “Why should I give you another chance?”
• “How do I know you won’t do it again?”
• “What work have you done?”
• “If he comes back, is he willing to commit?”

If he cannot answer these correctly or at least to your satisfaction, he will do it again because he didn’t do enough reflection.

Trust me, a guy will do a lot of reflection if he feels he messed up. I’ve been there. He would have solid answers for all these questions.

I am not saying you must bombard him with these because it is a little intense. However, you do need to know.

Giving someone a second chance isn’t about how much you miss them — it’s about how much they’ve truly changed.

A man who walked away has to earn his way back, not waltz in with sweet words and empty promises. If he can’t show growth, accountability, and genuine commitment, he’s not a second chance — he’s a repeat mistake.

Want a real man who values you from the start? Grab my FREE 9-part guide to skyrocketing your dating life and finding your guy in as little as 90 days [here].

If you want to work with me, click [here].

If you want to save yourself time and the headache of a relationship going south, I will give you early red flags in relationships you cannot miss.

Everyone misses red flags. It’s hard to keep track of everything, especially when you like the guy, want to give him the benefit of the doubt, and see potential.

However, there are some red flags I don’t think we should skip on. In this articl,e I will lay out 5 crucial red flags I believe will make or break the relationship if glossed over.

If you’re serious about dating and wanting to skyrocket your success in finding a relationship, check out my FREE 9-guide series here.

Red Flag One: Failing The Filter Test

It is a huge red flag if a guy fails anything I discuss in the filter test. This is the first thing you should be doing with any guy.

It only involves several questions:

• What are you looking for?
• When was your last relationship?
• What’s your longest relationship?
• Were you cheated on?

The answers you should be getting back are the following:

• “I am looking for something serious/want a gf.” Anything outside of this is a buying time statement. Those are NOT good.
• If he says he wants a relationship but he’s been single for 3 years, a red light should go off. At the same time, if he’s newly single (6–8 months), another red light should be alarming.
• If he’s never had a long relationship (3 years+ for 30 years or older and 1–2 years in 20’s), there is a reason and you’re not going to be the one to change it.
• I hate this because it may not be his fault and I am not saying be done with him but in my line of work, the chances a guy is emotionally unavailable or not ready to commit if he’s been cheated on is like 85%.

If you want more on filtering, you can check out this in-depth article or my guide here.

Red Flag Two: The Halfway Point

If he starts to flip or change around the 4–6 week mark, run. There is nothing you can do about it because you’re not the problem. He’s just emotionally unavailable.

What happened was context (the things you two do and say over time that creates a serious vibe in a relationship) got to the point where his emotional unavaibility kicked in and he started to pull away.

When a man is emotionally unavailable, it lays dormant early on because there is no reason for it to surface. It’s just a guy liking a girl and them getting along.

But when things progress, so does the pressure. This happens around the 4–6 mark usually when:

• You’re moving at a consistent pace
• Things are going well
• You’re hooking up
• Talking about the future
• Going on numerous dates

A man has to answer to this. It’s not just fun. It’s a responsibility. If he’s on the same page as you, then all this is great. But if he’s not, he’s going to pull back.

Please be aware of the halfway point.

Red Flag Three: Mistaking His Intensity

Many women believe that an intense man is an interested man. That may be the case, but it’s also among the worst red flags in relationships.

I have done this for over a decade and found that it’s usually emotionally unavailable men filling a void and doing it.

There are several reasons for this:

• The faster I move (and you move along with me), the more validation I get.
• If we move fast, I get what I want faster.
• If we move fast, we bypass the courting stage and get to the stage where I benefit.

One of the most crucial things you can do is control the pace. A simple cookie-cutter approach would be:

• It’s okay to text daily but not all day every day.
• Average one date a week until about 4–5 dates then you can have two dates a week SOME weeks.
• Take everything he’s saying with a grain of salt for the first month.
• Don’t cave and sleep with him before the 5th date.

Please remember that early on, he doesn’t know you from Eve. Don’t think you’re that special that he’s falling in love with you in record time. When a guy makes these comments, you’re in trouble:

• I like you more in this short time than I liked my wife of 10 years.
• I have never felt chemistry like this before.
• I felt like I’ve known you forever.
• I have never had feelings this strong before.

Just be careful.

Red Flag Four: His Horrible Communication

This sounds like common sense, but it’s one of the biggest red flags in relationships.

Communication is the gold standard for anything going anywhere. It does so much, and people don’t realize it:

• Makes everything feel mutual.
• People feel understood and heard.
• They’re validated and wanted.
• Clears up and misconceptions.
• Keeps the consistency going.

If you’re talking to a guy who is:

• Sporadic/inconsistent.
• Okay going a day without talking to you.
• Doesn’t like conflict or problem solving.

Then you’re talking to a man who realized he doesn’t want you but your assets and sees you short-term.

The only problem is that it’s difficult to gauge someone’s communication early on. Many people will go the extra mile in communication in the first month to secure dates and your interest.

But it’s still important to watch, and a big red flag when a guy cannot communicate properly.

Red Flag Five: Not Meeting Friends Or Family

While I am not a big fan of meeting friends and family early on in dating, you should meet a friend or two before week 6. If not, there are several reasons:

• He isn’t sure about you.
• He has brought women around before and it didn’t last long.
• He doesn’t want to integrate you into his social circle (there are reasons).
• He’s talking to other women.
• He’s interested in a member of his group.

What women fail to realize is that men want to secure you if they see you long-term. Too many of you justify things and say, “Well, maybe he did it and got burned before,” or “He probably doesn’t want to show anyone off until it’s serious. We do that in my culture all the time.”

While that may be true, his integrating you into his social group happens (overall) far less than it should. If a guy likes you, wants to win you over or some brownie points, it’s smart that on a 4th or 5th date to invite you out with friends.

Again, that may not be his style, but we’re not talking about that. We’re talking about him doing things he thinks you’d like.

Maybe it’s just me, but when I date a girl I like and want to show her I care, I go the extra step. I will do things I know she likes. Let me give you a great example of this from a woman I dated who did something for me:

I dated this Canadian woman named Sara years back. She was a fantastic woman. At that time, my friends and I played a game called “Dead By Daylight,” which was a four-player online multiplayer game. She knew nothing about the game and didn’t even play. However, she bought the game because she knew I liked it and wanted to play it with me.

I remember her laughing and saying, “You probably think this is pathetic, don’t you? I look needy.” But in reality, I loved that she did that. It’s the effort and attention to detail. The fact that she was willing to learn a game and a skill she had no previous interest in.

As soon as a guy does that for you, you’re in. But if he never does anything like that, let alone won’t even introduce you to a friend, and you’ve been dating for a while, there is a reason.

Hopefully I helped you figure out serious red flags in relationships. If you’re interested in working with me, click the link here.

If you’re looking for surefire tips for first dates, I will make your life so easy that you’ll love dating (I know, hard to believe).

First dates can be daunting, especially if you go on many of them. Having to get ready, put on a smile, search for a connection, and partake in some bad dates isn’t ideal.

You’re not alone. I wrote this article to make you a first-date master who can find the right guy and make him your boyfriend.

If you’re serious about a relationship and want a free gift that strongly complements this article, get my free nine-dating guide series here.

Focus On Attraction, Not Connection

The number one thing I learned as a dating coach who focuses on evolutionary psychology is that attraction is everything.

When I talk about attraction, I don’t just mean sexual. I mean a person’s “gravity” or ability to pull others in, make them curious, and want more.

When you’re on a first, second, or even third date, connections do not do that. In fact, it hurts you.

I cannot tell you how many women I know who lost men because they focused so much on trying to get to know each other and build a connection before building attraction.

I know that sounds weird but trust me. Attraction is a facilitator. It’s what causes men to invest and want to build a connection in the first place. Men will never build a connection just to build one. They have to like you first.

That’s because of how courtship works:

Men are the offers and women are the choosers. Men have to offer themselves to women and women can accept or decline that offer. That’s how courtship starts.

A man doesn’t think, “I want to build a connection with that woman, let me offer myself to her.” He finds you attractive and appealing. That’s what makes him invest.

On the other hand, women want to build a connection because they’re still filtering the man and want to see if he’d stick around.

Check out this article: How To Be So Interesting A Guy Needs You In His Life.

First Dates Should Be Systematic

First dates are interviews to see if we are interested in each other and vibe well.

Too many women want extravagant dates and believe simple dates aren’t worth their time.

Newsflash: It’s a first date. He doesn’t know you apart from Eve lol. You’re not special or different than any other girl at that point in time. Just go on the date and see if there is a spark.

With that being said, you should keep first dates simple:

• Day date/coffee or night/drinks
• 90 minutes
• Keep things light and laugh a lot
• Keep it within 15-minute drive
• No wait times or places difficult to park
• Have a handful of topics you’d like to discuss
• Have 3–5 questions to slip in there that are important to you

I have found after 10 years of being a coach that the easier these things are to do with an individual, the better the date and connection will be.

For me, I do this all the time, but with Mexican food:

• Everyone likes Mexican food.
• Mexicans are the most generous people regarding food portions and spiking your drinks lol.
• Cheap.
• Always close by.
• Always good parking.
• Rarely long waits.

Because of this, the vibe is chill, the tension is eased, and we have more time to focus on each other.

Have A Literal “List” Of Things

I feel you should be dating with these two things in mind:

• For meeting a specific person
• For being a specific person to someone

Hopefully that makes sense.

People cast their nets too wide and wonder why things don’t work out. People focus so much on looks and chemistry, which are extremely importan,t but the two problems with that are:

• You’re always going to have someone more attractive and interesting than you.
• Everyone, to some degree, is cute and interesting; otherwise, we wouldn’t agree to the date.

It’s a losing battle.

Instead, you have to have a list in your head of what you’re about and what you offer. At the same time, you should have the cliche but important list: Must haves/wants/dealbreakers.

That way, filtering people on a first date is straightforward. Don’t just date anyone. Date someone in your tribe (more on this in my How To Hook A Guy Guide).

Keep it simple. The only thing I ask is don’t put cliche things here. Don’t say for must have/want:

• Kind
• Caring
• Sweet
• Funny

Those are prerequisites. Everyone wants nice, funny, and kind people. Instead, it should be things like:

• Loves to work out and takes care of themselves.
• They are very passionate about something and have a mission.
• Has amazing style.
• They have hair.
• Doesn’t drink.
• Or whatever you want.

Master Filtering Over Everything Else

If you’re on a first date, you must learn the art of balancing having fun and gathering information.

Your ability to correctly filter a guy will save you 80% of the bullshit that comes along with dating down the road.

You need to figure out if this man is:

• Wanting a relationship
• How long he’s been single
• Was he cheated on
• What was his longest relationship

The best way to ask this is to ask one question and let it naturally flow into others. For example:

You can ask someone what they’re looking for before the first date (and you should). I don’t care what the apps say they want. Before a first date, you need to hear it from them via text/phone. No, it’s not intense or clingy. I don’t know why people think that.

On the date, you can make a nice statement about how this date is relaxing because the apps are a nightmare for women. Then, when he comments on it, you can laugh, go along with it, and ask him, “How’s your time on the apps?” and guide it to “Oh, how long have you been on there?”

If he gives you an answer but doesn’t indicate how long he’s been single, you can naturally say, “How long were you single before getting on the apps?”

Then when he tells you, you can start prying for information on that relationship.

Pace it and add statements and other things so it doesn’t feel like an interview.

Here is more information on filtering: How To Filter Men Who Don’t Want Relationships — A Five-Step Foolproof Way To Finding A Boyfriend.

Follow The 70/30 Rule

Lastly, if you’re unsure of how much you should invest, talk, and keep the conversation going, I believe in the 70/30 rule.

This essentially states that a man should be doing 70% of the talking, and you should be listening.

This is VERY hard to do because the number one thing everyone is taught on first dates is not to talk too much and to let the other person talk about themselves.

It’s not a hardset rule. It can be 50/50 or 60/40.

I am a huge believer that if you can let a guy try to win you over (making you laugh, let’s say), and you laugh, make comments/statements, and ask a question to send it back his way, you’re golden and getting a second date.

This works because of the dopamine-chase loop. It’s crucial to make a man chase, give in to him a little, then repeat the process.

As soon as you’re doing more of the talking, courtship is over.

If you want to work with me or get my free guides, click here.

If you’re wondering, “Does no contact work?” I have some good news for you: Yes! However, so many of you ruin your chances before it takes effect.

Have you ever tried to work things out but no prevail? Maybe you voiced your concerns but didn’t get the outcome you wanted? You did everything possible only to get taken advantage of?

Enter no contact!

No contact is one of the most powerful things you can do in a relationship heading south. It’s never used to punish someone but to let them know you have boundaries and your time is valuable.

Unfortantely, many people do no contact completely wrong and then get upset why it doesn’t work.

In this article, we’re going to go over:

• Mistakes people make when doing no contact.
• Why these hurt your chances.
• What to do instead.

If you want 9 free guides on attraction, psychology, and dating to skyrocket your dating success, click here.

#1 Negotiate and still talk about what’s wrong.

My definition and context following no contact is:

After unsuccessfully trying to consistently communicate and address boundaries for the overall good of the relationship, we take a step back and cut off all communication with the individual not to punish them but to value our own time and effort.

Many people do not do this. They’re still in some way in contact or a “call/text” away from the person. Meaning, you’re not done and they know they have you.

Even worse, we’re still trying to fix and communicate the problem, which subconsciously gives the other person power.

So many people are weak regarding no contact that they’re surprised it doesn’t work. Well no shit lol. You’re still in contact with the person.

For no contact to work, two things have to happen: They shouldn’t have contact to you and should feel they lost you. It’s impossible for someone to feel any type of regret or reflection otherwise.

How can someone regret if they can’t reflect? How can they reflect if there is no reason to? You’re supposed to give the reason.

This cycle has to happen. As soon as you break it, no contact doesn’t work anymore because it is no longer a no-contact game. They think, “How much do I have to do before they cave again?”

You showed him the crack in the armor and they’ll call your bluff.

Here is a great article: 5 Reasons You Must Let Him Go To Get Him Back.

#2 Still have them on social media.

Do you know why getting over a coworker you dated is hard? Because you always see them.

It’s the same with social media, but benefits the other person. It’s tough for them to feel the effects of no contact when they can access your whereabouts.

Here is something you have to understand:

They need their “fix/hit” of you, not a relationship. There is a reason they did the dumb shit they did and you pulling away because of it. Either they don’t value you or took you for granted. But as long as they can keep tabs and check in on you, they’re good.

It’s hard for people to realize you’re gone when you’re not gone. Further more, they will question why you’re doing no contact but still have them as friends across social media.

This screams, “I am doing this to punish you and get a result, but I don’t really want this to end.”

They will never take you serious until you’re serious about it. I know this to be a fact because I love doing a little trick with my clients:

My clients will tell me they’re doing no contact. I will ask what that entails. They’ll list off a thing but still have the person on social media. I challenge them and say, “That’s not no contact because they have contact with you. Why don’t you delete them?”

I always get the same two responses:

• “If I do that, I will never hear from them again or they have no way of contacting me if they change.”
• “I don’t know if I am ready to let go yet. I still want them.”

Yeah, I know. I have been a dating coach for 11 years. I know the reasons and so does he. That’s why it never works.

Check out this article: How to get him to regret leaving by correctly acting cold.

#3 Doing it for a “period of time.”

There are many dating coaches out there who suggest doing it for 90 days, sending a letter, and all this corny crap.

Once you cave and you cave at the wrong time, you lose. That’s your only shot because you just shook hands on your value.

Put your emotions aside and listen to me:

I study evolutionary psychology and dedicate my life to this craft while talking to clients daily. Doing it for a set time or caving in at the wrong moment is the worst thing you can do.

It shows:

• You’re willing to negotiate your value.
• You can’t leave.
• You like me more than I like you.
• You’re weak.
• You don’t stick to your word.
• You’re too emotional.

No contact means no contact. Only “cave” when you get quality answers to these questions:

• “How do I know you changed? People don’t change that fast?”
• “If you come back, we’re official. Take it or leave it.”
• “How do I know you won’t do this again?”
• “How can I trust you?”

This article will help you: How long should I do no contact for it to be effective?

#4 You’re doing it to get them back.

If you do it because you want them back, it will show, and they will take advantage of it. Yes, it will show. You’re not better than the game. You can’t outsmart them and keep tabs on all the variables.

Don’t even try.

There is truth behind the quote, “whoever loves less wins.”

They’re not dependent on the outcome. They just do whatever. Their emotions don’t sway them to harshness on either side. It is what it is.

I remember in my twenties, women would try this on me. I would come back around, pull some bullshit, and they’d think they had me because their logic is:

“Oh, look, he’s chasing me. He’s investing. He’s the one expressing himself and I am not doing anything. I have the power now.”

Not really. That’s not how it works.

Outcome dependency is a huge factor because of what follows:

• I was coming around for assets. I have no attachment to the outcome or what follows next. Win or lose, I am the same person.
• She on the other hand has to have a sequence of things to work to get what she wants. She’s playing to win. That makes her dependent.

Over time, that person eventually loses. It’s hard to lose when you’re not dependent on an outcome.

It’s like a negotiation. Sure, I will sit at the table and negotiate. Let’s see if I can get a good deal. It’s entertaining. I have no problem walking away because I am not after a particular outcome.

On the other hand, you may have a good bluff and be good at negotiating, but your unwillingness to leave the table completely gives me the advantage.

Try reading this. It will help: 5 Reasons men don’t commit and how to instantly fix it.

#5 Don’t stay friends.

Never voluntarily put yourself in the friend zone to keep them in your life.

They must lose access to you. That means:

• No seeing
• No talking
• No texting
• No “happy birthday” or “sorry about your loss” type of text

“But that’s not me. That’s not the type of person I am.”

people take advantage of this.

Trust me, if you’re a woman especially, people love having access to you. There is nothing a man loves more than asking to stay friends so he still has access to you as an insurance policy.

I see it all the time at work.

What ends up happening when you stay friends is they will either try something to get the assets from you (sex, attention, validaiton, etc) but never more OR they will try things with someone else and when it doesn’t work out, they come back to use you until something better comes along.

Not only that, but it’s difficult to get any real effect or result from no contact when you’re still friends. You’ll fail miserably at changing his mind if you still talk and text or act friendly.

  Click here. if you want work with me. I’d love to help you.

If you want to know the best way to get a guy to realize he screwed up, you first have to let him go to get him back.

You fear letting him go because things are rocky, and he won’t return. What you don’t realize is you’re doing more harm than good.

It can be hard to let someone go completely. It feels like jumping off the highest building and building a plane on the way down. You don’t know the outcome and that scares you.

That’s understandable.

That’s why I wrote this article. I wanted to show you why you must let him go to get him back. We’re going to discuss:

• What he’s thinking and why letting him go will trigger certain thoughts.
• Why letting go is your best chance to keep him long-term.
• How it benefits the overall situation, puts you in a better position for success, and raises your value.

If you’re interested, I have 9 guides I am giving away for FREE that go over dating, male psychology, maximizing attraction, finding Mr. Right, filtering men, and more. you can get that here.

Let’s jump in.

He Needs To Realize What He Lost

I tell my clients the following:

Without structure, there is chaos. Your fear of losing him is what got you here. You value him so much that you fear losing him. This causes you to lower your standards and then wonder why you’re in this situation.

Repeat after me:

For a man to regret, he has to reflect. For him to reflect, there has to be consequences.

A man cannot realize your worth, value, or lose you until you put him in the position to do so.

It is YOUR job to uphold the consequences of him wanting to take you for granted, pull back, and distance himself.

You sticking around just tells him there is no urgency in coming back because you’re always leaving the door open as if he’s some puppy that ran aways but already has a home.

Please read this article: Why Guys Never Commit To Hopeful Women.

The longer you stick around and the more chances you give him, the more likely he will use you as an insurance policy. He will have you as a backup until something better comes around.

You’re lowering your value by conditioning him to see you as having no value.

To Raise Your Value

If you don’t value your own time or respect yourself, why would he? You teach people how to treat you.

When I was on the receiving end, just like you listening to this advice, I hated it. It felt stupid because there was no way I didn’t value my own time or have any self-respect.

However, the longer I have been doing this, the more I realize that’s exactly what’s happening.

I really need to drill it into your head that the reason what’s happening to you isn’t a lack of attraction or because of a fight. It’s because he doesn’t value you.

There is nothing wrong with a man wanting to leave. Sometimes people are not compatible and relationships do not work out. However, if you’re talking to a guy who has one foot in, is inconsistent but still around, and has pulled this crap before, it’s due to value.

The only way to get value back is not to convince him to stay (dear God please tell me you’re not doing that). It’s to add structure to what’s going on.

Like I said, there is nothing wrong with a man not wanting a relationship. But a man is not allowed to treat you like a revolving door.

Your hopefulness is weakness. He loves taking advantage of it because it benefits him at your expense you.

Resetting Power Dynamics: Variables

This is to build off the first two points:

He’s doing what he’s doing because he feels he can get away with it and use you as an insurance policy. He thinks this because you have shown him “variables” that it’s okay.

These variables include:

• Letting him back in before
• You care more than he does
• You’re making more effort than him
• You like him more than he likes you
• He doesn’t have to work for the assets

If this is the case, you have to reset the power dynamics. He’s too comfortable treating you the way he’s treating you because you showed him too many times that there is no risk.

I have a great article on Power Dynamics And How Women Can Get Men Obsessed With Them.

Reset The Dopamine-Chase Loop

Sometimes a man has to know what it’s like without you. If you made it so easy for him, he will never chase, even if you start pulling away.

That’s because you exhausted the “dopamine-chase loop.”

Men were designed to chase. If you make so he doesn’t have to, two things will happen:

• He will take advantage of you and the fact.
• He will use his resources and willpower elsewhere and chase someone else.

Yes, a man will do that, especially if he’s unsure about you. That doesn’t mean you always have to have a man chase. But there must be a time gap before you reward him for the loop to reset.

However, if you’re talking to a guy who took you for granted and pulled away, he doesn’t get the same feeling from chasing you that he once did.

There are four steps for the dopamine chase loop to work:

• Desire: He has to have an initial craving for something.
• Chase: He has to work for it and invest.
• Reward: He gets it after the woman feels he’s earned it.
• Time passes: he has to go without it to desire it again.

If your guy pulls away and wants him back, you must let him go. He must realize what it’s like without you to reflect on being an idiot lol.

Confrontation And Accountability

The best way to raise your value and get him to come back is to hold him accountable for his actions.

There is no accountability if a man comes and goes as he pleases. When there is no accountability, he’s going to cut corners.

Here is what happens:

Women always talk to men who court and invest heavily in the beginning, but as soon as the woman lets him in or is hooked, he eases up. He feels he doesn’t need to invest resources into something he already has. From there, he does it less and less. Then only when HE wants to, then he takes her for granted.

All because there was no accountability for what was going on.

While men hate confrontation and accountability, letting him go holds him accountable. It tells a man, “You made this decision, and that’s fine. But now you have to live with it.”

Ladies, understand that men only value what they invest in. The fact that he’s not held accountable for his actions and can come back simply because you miss him is crazy. He will do the same thing again.

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