Can a guy’s feelings change overnight if he genuinely likes you? I will give you the most in-depth explanation so you know exactly how he feels and what he’s thinking.
What looks like sudden coldness is often the result of an emotional decision that’s been building for weeks — he just didn’t communicate it.
If you’re wondering what happened, you’re not alone. Things were going well, and suddenly, he’s pulling away, acting different, and telling you he’s unsure about the relationship.
Did his feelings change that quickly? What happened?
In this article, you’re going to learn:
- Why did his feelings change in the first place?
- How they changed.
- A secret reason Why they change no one talks about.
- If they can change that fast.
- What he’s going to do next.
If you want my FREE high-value guide that helps women avoid these situations, please click the link here.
Let’s dive into what he’s thinking.
Yes, a guy’s feelings can change overnight. But that depends on many factors, including the reasons for the change, how long he’s been processing things, his goal with the change, and how much he liked you. But yes, a man’s feelings can change fast.
Why Did His Feelings Change In The First Place?
A man’s feelings can change for a variety of reasons. However, it’s usually a “concoction” of things mixing together. These things include:
- Blueprint Versus Reality Concept
- Assets Versus Liabilities
- Uncertainity (risk)
In this post, I thoroughly review all these things and explain why men don’t commit to you. But in a nutshell:
The concept of Blueprint versus Reality states that:
The futher our goal (blueprint) is from where we are in present time (reality), the more stress we feel and likely look for solutions.
In your case, you’re talking to a guy who:
- Doesn’t see you long-term.
- Lost attraction.
- Doesn’t like how things turned out.
- Doesn’t like where things are going.
If this is the case, it’s logical to look elsewhere for thing that can get us to our blueprint. If a guy’s feelings change overnight or extremely fast, he concludes that he doesn’t see you in his life down the road. To go further, the thing that caused him to change his feelings over night was a deep dive into what I call Assets Versus Liabilities.
Assets: The traits we want and desire in a partner. These traits include:
- Attractiveness
- Sex
- Validation
- Chemistry
- Good communication
- Nuturing
- Same values
- Same goals
- Selflessness
- And many other things.
Liabilities: These are the traits we do not want in a partner. These include:
- Unattractive
- Low libido/not having sex
- Drama
- Jealousy
- Ego
- Fights often
- Gaslighting and bad communication
- Plays games
- Selfish
- Tries to make you jealous
- And many other things
Think of this as a list of pros and cons. Everyone has these and multiple of them. The best way I can explain it is to think of it as a bundle. Everyone comes with a bundle of pros and cons. It gets to the point with men where he asks himself, “Is it worth it anymore?”
These differences are what we call the cost.
If men aren’t willing to pay the cost, there is no reason to continue. It means the assets that he once desired are not worth it anymore. This means a man is uncertain about you and that doesn’t sound good when it comes to attraction. It tells him to look elsewhere.
The Real Reason His Feelings Changed Overnight
I discuss in this article here why men pull away/ghost when things are going well. It’s worth a read if this is happening to you. However, I want to get into the psychological barrier that happens when a man likes you but is emotionally unavailable.
I am willing to bet that your man’s feelings changed quickly, not because of the things I mentioned thus far, but because he got in his head due to overthinking and being emotionally unavailable to some extent.
Here is why I say that.
Emotionally unavailable men have this amazing way of courting you, acting as if nothing is wrong, and wanting a relationship until around the halfway point. Usually this is 4-6 weeks of dating. When they get to that point, they start to get in their head and freak out about a relationship.
But why now? Why not before?
Before the moment he freaked out, there was no context to freak out over. Context is what you two do and say that layers over time to create a serious vibe in the relationship. Context takes a while to build up. things that build context include:
- Sex
- Future planning
- Consistency
- Sleepovers
- Meeting friends and family
- Pace
- Exclusive talk
- Frequency of dates
- How often you talk
- And so on
The good news is you probably are/were talking to a guy who truly liked you. Everything was genuine and authentic. He meant what he said. As time goes on though, this stuff starts to get in his head. Emotional unavailability lies dormant in people who didn’t heal correctly from their past. They want what they have in front of them (you) but freak out when it gets real.
It gets to a point where he feels obligated to give you something because of how well and long things have been. This causes pressure and men begin to pull away. Trust me, this happens a lot more than you realize.
I am willing to bet if his feelings changed overnight or extremely fast, this is probably the reason. It’s a very common thing that happens with emotionally unavailable men.
His Feelings Changed. What’s Next?
Unfortantely, he will set off on a journey to go discover what else is out there. I know this hurts to read and find out but let me tell you why he must do this.
You were talking to a guy who has this narrative in his head that he wants to break up. This narrative didn’t come out of nowhere. It came from what I call “evidence” or “variables.” These are little instances throughout the relationship that he gathered that helped him form and adapt a gameplan moving foward.
If he liked what he saw and it aligned with what he wanted, then great. If not, there is no reason for him to stick around. That means two things:
- If you try to convince him to come back now, it will blow up in your face.
- He has to see what it’s like with and without you to realize he messed up and keeping him from doing that will only worsen it.
This is the beginning of a man’s four-stage process:
Stage One is what I call the Current Mood. He has the mindset to leave based on the realization that he’s unfulfilled with the current state of the relationship.
Stage Two is him Adapting to the choice of leaving. How can he know if he made the wrong decision unless he never goes out and lives it? He decided to leave for this very reason. To essentially find a solution. He must see what it’s like without you.
Stage Three is what I call the Reflection stage. He has now experienced life with and without you. This is the moment he’s going to do the most reflecting. We are problem-solving creatures who want to avoid risk. He needs to reflect to see if he made the right choice.
Stage Four is what I call the Regret stage. After reflecting, he has to conclude whether to stay or return to you. This entire process can take anywhere from 1-3 months. At most 6. Here is a video that dives into more detail on the topic:
If you want more information to help you understand why the sudden change in feelings, I highly suggest you check out these posts: