If you’re wondering, “Does no contact work?” I have some good news for you: Yes! However, so many of you ruin your chances before it takes effect.

Have you ever tried to work things out but no prevail? Maybe you voiced your concerns but didn’t get the outcome you wanted? You did everything possible only to get taken advantage of?

Enter no contact!

No contact is one of the most powerful things you can do in a relationship heading south. It’s never used to punish someone but to let them know you have boundaries and your time is valuable.

Unfortantely, many people do no contact completely wrong and then get upset why it doesn’t work.

In this article, we’re going to go over:

• Mistakes people make when doing no contact.
• Why these hurt your chances.
• What to do instead.

If you want 9 free guides on attraction, psychology, and dating to skyrocket your dating success, click here.

#1 Negotiate and still talk about what’s wrong.

My definition and context following no contact is:

After unsuccessfully trying to consistently communicate and address boundaries for the overall good of the relationship, we take a step back and cut off all communication with the individual not to punish them but to value our own time and effort.

Many people do not do this. They’re still in some way in contact or a “call/text” away from the person. Meaning, you’re not done and they know they have you.

Even worse, we’re still trying to fix and communicate the problem, which subconsciously gives the other person power.

So many people are weak regarding no contact that they’re surprised it doesn’t work. Well no shit lol. You’re still in contact with the person.

For no contact to work, two things have to happen: They shouldn’t have contact to you and should feel they lost you. It’s impossible for someone to feel any type of regret or reflection otherwise.

How can someone regret if they can’t reflect? How can they reflect if there is no reason to? You’re supposed to give the reason.

This cycle has to happen. As soon as you break it, no contact doesn’t work anymore because it is no longer a no-contact game. They think, “How much do I have to do before they cave again?”

You showed him the crack in the armor and they’ll call your bluff.

Here is a great article: 5 Reasons You Must Let Him Go To Get Him Back.

#2 Still have them on social media.

Do you know why getting over a coworker you dated is hard? Because you always see them.

It’s the same with social media, but benefits the other person. It’s tough for them to feel the effects of no contact when they can access your whereabouts.

Here is something you have to understand:

They need their “fix/hit” of you, not a relationship. There is a reason they did the dumb shit they did and you pulling away because of it. Either they don’t value you or took you for granted. But as long as they can keep tabs and check in on you, they’re good.

It’s hard for people to realize you’re gone when you’re not gone. Further more, they will question why you’re doing no contact but still have them as friends across social media.

This screams, “I am doing this to punish you and get a result, but I don’t really want this to end.”

They will never take you serious until you’re serious about it. I know this to be a fact because I love doing a little trick with my clients:

My clients will tell me they’re doing no contact. I will ask what that entails. They’ll list off a thing but still have the person on social media. I challenge them and say, “That’s not no contact because they have contact with you. Why don’t you delete them?”

I always get the same two responses:

• “If I do that, I will never hear from them again or they have no way of contacting me if they change.”
• “I don’t know if I am ready to let go yet. I still want them.”

Yeah, I know. I have been a dating coach for 11 years. I know the reasons and so does he. That’s why it never works.

Check out this article: How to get him to regret leaving by correctly acting cold.

#3 Doing it for a “period of time.”

There are many dating coaches out there who suggest doing it for 90 days, sending a letter, and all this corny crap.

Once you cave and you cave at the wrong time, you lose. That’s your only shot because you just shook hands on your value.

Put your emotions aside and listen to me:

I study evolutionary psychology and dedicate my life to this craft while talking to clients daily. Doing it for a set time or caving in at the wrong moment is the worst thing you can do.

It shows:

• You’re willing to negotiate your value.
• You can’t leave.
• You like me more than I like you.
• You’re weak.
• You don’t stick to your word.
• You’re too emotional.

No contact means no contact. Only “cave” when you get quality answers to these questions:

• “How do I know you changed? People don’t change that fast?”
• “If you come back, we’re official. Take it or leave it.”
• “How do I know you won’t do this again?”
• “How can I trust you?”

This article will help you: How long should I do no contact for it to be effective?

#4 You’re doing it to get them back.

If you do it because you want them back, it will show, and they will take advantage of it. Yes, it will show. You’re not better than the game. You can’t outsmart them and keep tabs on all the variables.

Don’t even try.

There is truth behind the quote, “whoever loves less wins.”

They’re not dependent on the outcome. They just do whatever. Their emotions don’t sway them to harshness on either side. It is what it is.

I remember in my twenties, women would try this on me. I would come back around, pull some bullshit, and they’d think they had me because their logic is:

“Oh, look, he’s chasing me. He’s investing. He’s the one expressing himself and I am not doing anything. I have the power now.”

Not really. That’s not how it works.

Outcome dependency is a huge factor because of what follows:

• I was coming around for assets. I have no attachment to the outcome or what follows next. Win or lose, I am the same person.
• She on the other hand has to have a sequence of things to work to get what she wants. She’s playing to win. That makes her dependent.

Over time, that person eventually loses. It’s hard to lose when you’re not dependent on an outcome.

It’s like a negotiation. Sure, I will sit at the table and negotiate. Let’s see if I can get a good deal. It’s entertaining. I have no problem walking away because I am not after a particular outcome.

On the other hand, you may have a good bluff and be good at negotiating, but your unwillingness to leave the table completely gives me the advantage.

Try reading this. It will help: 5 Reasons men don’t commit and how to instantly fix it.

#5 Don’t stay friends.

Never voluntarily put yourself in the friend zone to keep them in your life.

They must lose access to you. That means:

• No seeing
• No talking
• No texting
• No “happy birthday” or “sorry about your loss” type of text

“But that’s not me. That’s not the type of person I am.”

people take advantage of this.

Trust me, if you’re a woman especially, people love having access to you. There is nothing a man loves more than asking to stay friends so he still has access to you as an insurance policy.

I see it all the time at work.

What ends up happening when you stay friends is they will either try something to get the assets from you (sex, attention, validaiton, etc) but never more OR they will try things with someone else and when it doesn’t work out, they come back to use you until something better comes along.

Not only that, but it’s difficult to get any real effect or result from no contact when you’re still friends. You’ll fail miserably at changing his mind if you still talk and text or act friendly.

  Click here. if you want work with me. I’d love to help you.