If you want to know the best way to get a guy to realize he screwed up, you first have to let him go to get him back.

You fear letting him go because things are rocky, and he won’t return. What you don’t realize is you’re doing more harm than good.

It can be hard to let someone go completely. It feels like jumping off the highest building and building a plane on the way down. You don’t know the outcome and that scares you.

That’s understandable.

That’s why I wrote this article. I wanted to show you why you must let him go to get him back. We’re going to discuss:

• What he’s thinking and why letting him go will trigger certain thoughts.
• Why letting go is your best chance to keep him long-term.
• How it benefits the overall situation, puts you in a better position for success, and raises your value.

If you’re interested, I have 9 guides I am giving away for FREE that go over dating, male psychology, maximizing attraction, finding Mr. Right, filtering men, and more. you can get that here.

Let’s jump in.

He Needs To Realize What He Lost

I tell my clients the following:

Without structure, there is chaos. Your fear of losing him is what got you here. You value him so much that you fear losing him. This causes you to lower your standards and then wonder why you’re in this situation.

Repeat after me:

For a man to regret, he has to reflect. For him to reflect, there has to be consequences.

A man cannot realize your worth, value, or lose you until you put him in the position to do so.

It is YOUR job to uphold the consequences of him wanting to take you for granted, pull back, and distance himself.

You sticking around just tells him there is no urgency in coming back because you’re always leaving the door open as if he’s some puppy that ran aways but already has a home.

Please read this article: Why Guys Never Commit To Hopeful Women.

The longer you stick around and the more chances you give him, the more likely he will use you as an insurance policy. He will have you as a backup until something better comes around.

You’re lowering your value by conditioning him to see you as having no value.

To Raise Your Value

If you don’t value your own time or respect yourself, why would he? You teach people how to treat you.

When I was on the receiving end, just like you listening to this advice, I hated it. It felt stupid because there was no way I didn’t value my own time or have any self-respect.

However, the longer I have been doing this, the more I realize that’s exactly what’s happening.

I really need to drill it into your head that the reason what’s happening to you isn’t a lack of attraction or because of a fight. It’s because he doesn’t value you.

There is nothing wrong with a man wanting to leave. Sometimes people are not compatible and relationships do not work out. However, if you’re talking to a guy who has one foot in, is inconsistent but still around, and has pulled this crap before, it’s due to value.

The only way to get value back is not to convince him to stay (dear God please tell me you’re not doing that). It’s to add structure to what’s going on.

Like I said, there is nothing wrong with a man not wanting a relationship. But a man is not allowed to treat you like a revolving door.

Your hopefulness is weakness. He loves taking advantage of it because it benefits him at your expense you.

Resetting Power Dynamics: Variables

This is to build off the first two points:

He’s doing what he’s doing because he feels he can get away with it and use you as an insurance policy. He thinks this because you have shown him “variables” that it’s okay.

These variables include:

• Letting him back in before
• You care more than he does
• You’re making more effort than him
• You like him more than he likes you
• He doesn’t have to work for the assets

If this is the case, you have to reset the power dynamics. He’s too comfortable treating you the way he’s treating you because you showed him too many times that there is no risk.

I have a great article on Power Dynamics And How Women Can Get Men Obsessed With Them.

Reset The Dopamine-Chase Loop

Sometimes a man has to know what it’s like without you. If you made it so easy for him, he will never chase, even if you start pulling away.

That’s because you exhausted the “dopamine-chase loop.”

Men were designed to chase. If you make so he doesn’t have to, two things will happen:

• He will take advantage of you and the fact.
• He will use his resources and willpower elsewhere and chase someone else.

Yes, a man will do that, especially if he’s unsure about you. That doesn’t mean you always have to have a man chase. But there must be a time gap before you reward him for the loop to reset.

However, if you’re talking to a guy who took you for granted and pulled away, he doesn’t get the same feeling from chasing you that he once did.

There are four steps for the dopamine chase loop to work:

• Desire: He has to have an initial craving for something.
• Chase: He has to work for it and invest.
• Reward: He gets it after the woman feels he’s earned it.
• Time passes: he has to go without it to desire it again.

If your guy pulls away and wants him back, you must let him go. He must realize what it’s like without you to reflect on being an idiot lol.

Confrontation And Accountability

The best way to raise your value and get him to come back is to hold him accountable for his actions.

There is no accountability if a man comes and goes as he pleases. When there is no accountability, he’s going to cut corners.

Here is what happens:

Women always talk to men who court and invest heavily in the beginning, but as soon as the woman lets him in or is hooked, he eases up. He feels he doesn’t need to invest resources into something he already has. From there, he does it less and less. Then only when HE wants to, then he takes her for granted.

All because there was no accountability for what was going on.

While men hate confrontation and accountability, letting him go holds him accountable. It tells a man, “You made this decision, and that’s fine. But now you have to live with it.”

Ladies, understand that men only value what they invest in. The fact that he’s not held accountable for his actions and can come back simply because you miss him is crazy. He will do the same thing again.

If you want to work with me or get my free 9-series of guides, click here.