How come some people take months or even years to get over someone, while others take as little as a week?

That doesn’t mean they like them any less, they just know the correct steps for a powerful mindset shift that immediately gets them over anyone no matter how long they’ve been together.

I am going to share with you a 3-step strategy that took me from wanting to end my life to wanting to live my life in only 2 weeks.

Not only that, but I will also provide you with actionable steps you can take to ensure this works for you. The only thing I ask is that you watch until the end because you must use all three steps in to get over someone in record time.

**If you’re interested in working with me, please click the link here.**

Step One: Your Acceptance Speech

This is the most cliché step, but also the most crucial, as it sets up the groundwork for the mindset shift. And that’s acceptance. Specifically, accepting you will be on this Earth but not together.

I know this isn’t easy. If you’re anything like me, your brain doesn’t shut up and listen. It likes to constantly ask, “What ifs:”

• What if I was the problem?
• What if I wasn’t good enough?
• What if I didn’t do X or what if I did Y instead?

The easiest way to overcome this is to brush aside all the “what-ifs” and accept complete responsibility. That means:

• Were you the problem? Who cares. You have to take responsibility for YOUR part.
• Were you good enough? Who cares improve yourself anyway.
• What if I did/didn’t do XYZ? Who cares. You probably screwed up. Focus on the future.

Dating is a game of trial and error. Please don’t beat yourself up for something inevitable.

After taking full responsibility, the next thing that helps me accept the outcome is being empathetic. This means telling yourself that “If her version of happiness doesn’t have me in it, who am I to rob that of her for my selfish gain? Do I want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me?”

Is this going to hurt? You bet your sweet ass it will.

I remember trying to do this and constantly getting stuck on the fact that I wasn’t good enough and because of it, she’s with some other guy who is satisfying her and her sugarwalls.

What made it worse was how pathetic I felt. I was lying in my grandma’s basement crying myself to sleep.

It’s so much easier to accept the fact you’re not going to be together and then add the cherry on top by saying, “As long as they’re happy, I can now set off and do my own thing.”

It’s like that saying, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

I just wanted to let go completely because it gave me a definitive path to explore. Let me explain:

Let’s say you’re sick and go to the doctor. The doctor takes one look at you and is like, “Oh damn, you’ve seen better days.” “yeah no shit doc. What’s wrong with me?”

It’s very defeating if you go to the doctor, they run some tests, and still don’t know what’s wrong with you. Even if it’s bad news, it’s better to understand and to have a set plan of action than to sit around and try to figure it out.

I had reached the point where I was so exhausted that I just wanted to move on. I didn’t want to fight it anymore.

Step Two: The Eye Of The Tornado

The problem I had was that my mind was racing. I remember the first time I saw her after we split up. She had to come over for some reason. She pulled up and got out of the car. She looked amazing while I had raccoon eyes from the constant tears and sleepless nights.

She had her hair done with highlights, it was all flared out. She had this new outfit that hugged her body in all the right places. Her makeup was done. What hurt was that it required more effort than she ever put into me. She was going out that night. Come to find out, she had a date.

My mind started racing. I knew they were going to attend the bedroom Olympics, where she was gonna attempt the pole vault and he was going to run a marathon if you know what I mean. Dude coming out here looking like Steve Prefontaine with that kitty tickler mustache.

I still had vivid images of her, so I knew exactly what he would see. The only thing that went through my head that entire night was the act of them making love. I imagined every little detail: her body, breathing, moaning, the things she liked, and so on. It killed me inside. All while I was again, laying in my grandma’s basement.

I tried masking the pain, covering it up, and distracting myself. It wasn’t working. She was the first thing I thought about when I woke up and the last thing I thought about before bed. That’s when it would sneak in.

It wasn’t until I took a deep breath, laid back, and let all those thoughts happen: them screwing, us never being together, what she was up to, did she ever think about me, them ending up getting married, and so on. EVERYTHING.

Then I realized something, “This IS the worst case scenario. I am face deep into some dogshit yet still alive. It can only get better from here.

I call this the eye of the tornado because it’s hectic on the outside but when you’re in the middle of it, you see everything for what it is. You’re the front line and still alive.

What I am getting at is, stop running from it. Face your demons head-on. Let it consume you. Challenge it. You’ll still be standing. You will get over it much faster, knowing you can do so instead of always running.

Step Three: Change Your Environment

I think this is the hardest because some of us can’t do this, whether you work with the person, live with them, or they’re part of the same friend group. I understand that, but you need to change something up in your routine.

The brain loves routine, and it subconsciously anchors our thoughts to it.

For me, I changed everything. I dropped out of college, joined another, quit my job, changed my circle of friends, and deleted 90% of my social media contacts. Everything changed. Dramatic? Yes. Did it help? 100%

It’s tough to see growth and improvement when everything around you is the same: Waking up the same time every day, ordering the same coffee from Starbucks, parking in the same spot at work/school, doing the same mundane task, oh, and then you see him….great….

I love drastic changes but if you can’t do that, try some substitute without ending anything. For example, If you have the same friend group, keep your friends but find a new group too. A group that you can rely on instead of thinking, “Oh I wanna hang with Judy but John will be there.”

Man fuck John.

If you have a job, ask to be moved, work in a different area of the job, or, at best, create boundaries with him that help you mentally.

The goal is to tell the brain that there is more to life than what you’ve been living. As soon as the brain realizes this, it’s easier to step out of your bubble and feel excited for growth.

I Was Free Again!

I thought I could never get over her. I remember the first day I felt free:

I usually wake up very stressed from the night before, and my brain immediately floods me with thoughts of her that I can’t escape. I lay there waiting for them. This time, I woke up, but they never came. It was weird, but I just thought they’d eventually come later. I remember later that day I was driving the backroads to go to a friend’s house. It was summertime and humid. In Illinois, the summers are very hot and humid. Not fun. While driving there, my car broke down. I pull to the side of the road and grab my cell. No service. I sit there for a second, trying to get service before I get out of the car, because it feels like an oven. I spot a tree to my left that offers some shade. I walk over there while looking at my phone. Still no service. I start to laugh. For some reason, I wasn’t mad. I was happy. This was nothing to the pain I have been feeling for the last 7 months, and despite what’s happening, she never popped into my mind. I was content with being stranded on the side of the road. I was happy. I was going to be ok.

Again, **if you’re interested in working with me, please click the link here.**