Posts Tagged → love

5 Signs A Guy Is Falling In Love With You But Slowly

“Love isn’t always loud. Sometimes, it’s in the silence, the small gestures, and the way he shows up — over and over again.”

You have this guy you like. Things are going well but a little slow for your liking. You’re wondering if he’s on the same page as you. He says he is but you’re unsure because if someone was in love with you, the pace would pick up.

If that’s how you feel, you’re not alone. The good news is that men can show they’re falling in love with you in many ways. 

In this article, I will show the top signs he’s falling in love with you. We will go over:

  • Ways men show they’re opening up and falling in love.
  • Unconventional ways men express themselves that you’re missing.
  • How men and women differ in expressing themselves.

Before we start, if you’re interested in getting my FREE high-value guide to make him value and respect you (which leads to love), click the link here, and I will send it to you.

There Is a “Story Progression” That Leads To Love

Here is one thing I know for sure:

Men who fall in love with you will eventually push the narrative along. Men who are unsure about you buy time and keep it that way.

If you’re talking to a guy where the number of dates is going up but the depth of the relationship isn’t, you’re talking to a guy who is unsure about you.

However, if you feel that you two are growing together, learning more about each other, you think it’s deeper than just sex, and an actual relationship is forming, you may have a man who is falling in love with you.

How can you tell the difference? Well:

  • Are you hanging out often and feeling that the relationship isn’t progressing? Or do you feel you’re slowly moving towards something meaningful and building a connection along the way?
  • Is the guy still making an effort to initiate and court you? Or does he cut corners and just ask you to hang out?
  • Is he consistent with talking, texting, and seeing you? Or does that all feel casual?

There has to be story progression. This means that if you were to read a book, it doesn’t matter if you read a page a day or the whole book in one sitting. You see characters develop, the setting changes, the plot thickens, and there’s a beginning, middle, and end:

If your relationship doesn’t have this arc, you’re talking to a guy who likes you but is unsure about you. If you feel things are progressing along the way, you may have a man falling in love, but:

  • Is inexperienced.
  • Afraid of getting hurt.
  • Insecure.
  • Doesn’t see the benefits of a relationship.
  • And many other things.

I have two detailed articles that will help you figure out if he likes you or is falling in love with you:

  • This article discusses how to tell if a guy likes you but not enough for a relationship.
  • This article goes into depth on the signs a guy is in love with you and the things they do. 

Reading both of these will help you decipher what category you’re in.

We’re designed to avoid risk. If he’s not taking you off the market, there are only three reasons: 1) He doesn’t fear losing you. 2) He doesn’t like you enough. 3) Feels he doesnt’ have to decide because you’re not going anywhere.

That may be hard to hear when you’re trying to figure out if a guy is falling in love with you or not but psychologically, it makes sense. Do NOT let your emotions fool you.

You Have Experiences That Make People Fall In Love

Three things make people stand out from the competition in dating:

  • The bundle they offer (Assets and liabilities) compared to others.
  • The way they make us feel.
  • The experiences we have with them.

People often sleep on the importance of experiences. The meaning of life is to experience life itself. 

I am not religious. I don’t take any deep philosophical approach to the meaning of life. I see it for what it is. If it’s an experience, we gravitate towards people who share that experience.

Everyone values something, fears something, and has lost something.

If you can share experiences with someone, the ups and downs, you will build a connection with them that others can’t relate to. 

This means if you’re talking to a guy and there is substance in your relationship, where you laugh a ton, but also listen and stand by their side, there is some merit to that. 

There is this power couple I follow named Alex and Leila Hormozi. Alex was once asked when he knew Leila was the one. 

He recounted a pivotal experience where he faced significant financial and personal setbacks. He told Leila that she deserved someone better and gave her an out. She expressed her willingness to endure hardships with him, saying, “I would sleep with you under a bridge if we had to.”

While I am not suggesting you do this or wait for a guy to change his mind, this personal experience of his hardship and her willingness made him realize she was the one.

In terms of experiences that are more realistic and not putting you at risk of being played, I suggest:

  • Trying something you two have never done before.
  • Sharing something you two have never shared.
  • Having faith and trust in the other person over a particular thing.
  • Having goals together and helping each other reach them.
  • Doing something extreme that gets the heart and adrenaline racing.
  • Trying something you both always wanted to do.

When you do these things with someone, the brain starts to anchor them to these feelings and experiences, which makes them fall in love with you. 

Men Who Fall In Love Make Sacrifices

The most important thing a man can do that proves he’s falling in love with you is make a noble sacrifice. 

There are several reasons why this is the best way to prove his love for you:

  • Men are supposed to provide, protect, and satisfy.
  • He’s sacrificing for the “bigger picture,” not just what he wants.
  • It goes against our nature.

Early dating (when a man is courting you) is transactional. There is no evolutionary benefit in his putting your needs before his unless he gets something out of it or it’s a win/win.

You may have guys who ditch their friends for you, go out to eat where you like to go, and spend money on you. But I mean real sacrifices. Things he would only do if he loved you and saw you long-term.

  • Moving.
  • Putting his dreams on hold.
  • Helping you financially through rough patches.
  • Giving up something he valued and waited for because you need his time and effort.
  • Supporting you through an obstacle you’re going through. 
  • Putting his health in jeopardy to ensure you’re safe and comfortable.

You’re A Part Of His “Inner” Life

This doesn’t mean being apart of his social group, friends, or family. It’s even deeper than that.

It means he’s letting you into his world:

  • His viewpoint.
  • His mind.
  • His philosophy.
  • What makes him tick.
  • What excites him. What scares him.
  • Him being vulnerable.

You see a complete human form of him where he peels back the layers and shows you the authentic self. You become an extension of him and vice versa. 

This is where men start to feel a true connection. They can relate to you and open up without feeling judged.

A perfect example of this and an even better novel is John Green’s “
A Fault In Our Stars.” You can get the book here (highly recommend if you’re looking for a good read).

This book is the perfect example of how two people do everything I talk about in this entire article: The connection, the experience, acceptance, desire, need, and completely letting each other see the other completely vulnerable.

He Needs You In His Life

As sexist as this sounds, men understand what I am getting at here:

A man saying he needs you is probably the most powerful statement. More than “I love you.”

If a man says he needs you in his life, this means several things:

  • He feels complete with you.
  • You’re the “missing puzzle piece” (every man is looking for theirs).
  • You’re one of the best options he can get.
  • You make him want to be better.
  • You compliment his lifestyle.
  • His life is better with you in it than without.

In the context of this article, where we’re discussing signs that a guy is falling in love with you slowly, this sounds like a cry for help.

Not saying that’s what he’s doing, but if a guy is telling you he needs you in his life, he means it. 

I need his words and actions to line up for this to count. I don’t want a man just to say it. I want him to express it too:

  • Consistency
  • Vulnerability
  • Progression
  • Sacrifice
  • Courtship
  • Effort

Anyone can say anything. It’s the effort that gets measured. 

5 Crazy Things Men Do When They’re In Love With You

“It’s much easier to tell if a guy loves you versus likes you because of the depths men go to secure a future with you.”

When a man likes a woman, he entertains her. When he loves a woman, he secures her.

You’ll see a common trend in all five things men do when falling for you. It’s like our brain chemistry changes, and we focus on reducing risk as much as possible and proving that we see you long-term.

One: He Makes This One Specific Sacrifice

I always tell my clients that you can tell if a guy is serious about you because he comes up with solutions instead of excuses. As soon as you hear men giving you reasons why they can’t see you, can’t invest, can’t commit, and so on, you have a problem.

The reason is we are risk-avoidant by nature. If I have a woman that I like who is trying to meet me halfway on things and willing to come up with solutions to make things work, why am I not on board? Isn’t that the best thing to do to keep things afloat and moving?

The only reason he wouldn’t is uncertainty. However, if you’re talking to a guy who loves you, he makes sacrifices.

Sacrifices are the ultimate sign that someone is falling for you. When I say sacrifices, I am specifically talking about things that are at the person’s expense but for the greater good.

For example:

  • “I have a huge paying client who wants to meet and talk business that will definitely change my business around, but I promised my son that I will be at his soccer game, so I am going to his game.”
  • “I really want to go to this event I’ve waited months for, but my girlfriend’s anxiety is through the roof, and is going through a rough time. I am going to support my girlfriend.”

These are extremely big “asks” of someone, and that’s why it’s a great sign. Unless there is tremendous upside, we are designed to avoid such risk from an evolutionary perspective. The only upside in these cases is that you see your two’s relationship as something bigger than anything you currently desire.

Two: He Obsesses Over You In This Particular Way

When we talk about obsession, we think of it as infatuation. In this sense, men obsess over futureproofing the relationship.

He does this in two ways:

  • He gives you the “future test”
  • He thinks of ways to secure further what you two have.

The future test is when a man has scenarios in his head and he makes you the main character in those scenarios and sees how it plays out. Some of these test include:

  • How you act in certain situations.
  • How would you act around the family, and how will they act around you.
  • Sunday mornings.
  • Growing old together.
  • Being there for him when he needs you.
  • How you handle being a mother to his children.
  • Traveling together.

If a man is not thinking about these things, he won’t see you in the long term. However, if he is, he’s going to find ways to secure you long-term:

  • Am I making my intentions clear that I want her?
  • Am I communicating well and transparently?
  • Are her needs met?
  • Are we happy?
  • What are the roadblocks, if any?

Many men will do this subconsciously but as a woman, you will know because you’re talking to a consistent man, a good communicator, transparent, doesn’t play games, and courts you. He doesn’t want to leave anything up to risk.

Three: He Truly Acts Like Himself

Every man’s dream: He can truly be himself.

You can tell a guy is starting to fall for you when the wall comes down:

  • You see him cry.
  • He’s opening up and more vulnerable.
  • You become his best friend.
  • He treats you differently than everyone else.
  • You’re more of a team. “You and I” becomes “We.”

He’s not afraid of being goofy around you. He’s also not afraid of judgment. He feels safe around you. You see his flaws. He shares with you disagreeable opinions. And that’s ok.

So many of my clients talk about a man making her feel safe and protected. The way you do that for him is a lack of judgment. You don’t alter your view of masculinity based on what he does and says. You love him for who he is.

This may also be part of the “future test” we discussed in the previous point. No man will ever commit to a woman he can’t be his authentic self around. While I don’t think men play many games like women think (it’s just a lack of attraction if so), this is one of the few games men play.

Four: He Connects With You Sexually

If you follow any of my material, you know how I feel about men and their view on sex. From an evolutionary perspective, men love to spread their seeds like gardeners.

Men look at sex as something fun and playful. They love the thrill of the chase. Our hormones in our body are designed to release a lot of dopamine during sex, and then once it’s flushed out, we feel this deep dive in desire that tells us to back off. This is designed to ensure men spread their seed to as many women as possible to secure offspring.

When a man is in love with a woman, he aims to build a connection. He may be rough with you, but he also wants to make love. Your needs far exceed his and he becomes a complete giver.

I remember the one and only woman I loved. When we would have sex, my ONLY goal was making sure she climaxed multiple times before even worrying about how I was feeling. It didn’t matter to me how I felt. I felt good only if she felt good.

The cuddles after sex were just as good as the act itself.

Five: He Tries To Thread You Into His Life

With all this being said, it wouldn’t come to the right conclusion unless a man actually threaded you more into his life to secure you long-term.

For all you ladies out there:

This means if you’re talking to a guy who won’t commit to you but says he’s in love with you, he’s a f***ing liar lol.

I don’t care what excuses he gives you.

Besides committing (the most important thing), other things men do to secure you long-term are:

  • Introduce you to his friends and family.
  • Makes a decision switch in your mind.
  • Make you a part of his life.
  • Move in together.
  • Heavily invest in you one of the following: time, energy, effort, money.
  • Asks for your input on big decisions.
  • Uses “we” instead of “I.”

You get the idea.

There is an essential four-step process people go through to secure someone long-term:

I know that sounds like common sense, but you’d be surprised on how many people don’t realize this, get stuck somewhere, or feel the guy loves her when they haven’t completed the process.

You must do all four steps and you must do them in this order.